“What’s with the Mission Statement?”
I cook the food – you eat the food – you pay for the food
And then you go home. And you don’t make a mess!

People ask “Joe?” and I say “What” and they say “Joe, where’d you learn to cook like you cook?” And I tell them to “Mind your own business and go away from me!” And they ask me again so I finally tell them just so they’ll stop talking to me.

What I tell them is this: I tell them that I was raised in the house of my Grandmother while my parents toured the failing Vaudeville circuit. Nana Joe could cook. You don’t believe me! She made a potato salad that would make you cry with tears it was so good!

I would stand by the oven and look at her cook like an artist would cook if she was a cook instead of an artist. And I would watch her and she would say “Who are you?” (Nana liked her cooking sherry). I would answer her, “It’s me Nana – Joseph!…” “Ah Brenda” she would croon, “ You get away from my kitchen!” and she’d pelt me with onions (not just any onions, of course, but the finest, freshest onions this side of…of… they were really good onions… I should know. I pried enough of them out of my ear). But I kept looking… and I learned that you don’t deep fry in a tank top.

And that’s how I learned to cook like I cook.
So you pay your bill and go home… and don’t make a mess!

Crabby Joe’s is a Registered Trademark of Obsidian Group Inc. All rights reserved.
(the legal weasels made us say this).